Post Christmas Family Dynamics Difficult Time for Stepmums

The Wicked Stepmother can do no right, perhaps proven with new research out today from Relate and Relationships Scotland.

Otherwise known as a blended family, it seems that stepmums do get it worse than stepdads when it comes to a happy family dynamic with their stepchildren.

According to their charities’ new report Happy Families? 65 per cent of stepdads have a good relationship with their stepchildren compared with 57 per cent of stepmums.

Both charities are expecting a sharp rise in the number of calls for help they get due to the additional pressures that Christmas causes families.

In January 2916, Relate experienced a surge of 30 per cent in calls as well as a 31 per cent rise in users to their website.

Clinical Psychologist and Relate Patron, Professor Tanya Byron said: “These findings indicate some of the challenges families can face following the breakdown of a relationship and blending families. People might think it’s inevitable and no cause for concern that some step-mums and step-children are struggling to build good quality relationships. Yet step-families make up 11 per cent of families with dependent children in the UK – that’s over half a million families. If many aren’t getting on, it’s a real threat to the wellbeing of a huge group of people.

“Stepmums can feel pressure to be maternal and are more likely to face rejection from their stepchildren, and stepkids can find themselves caught between biological parents and new family members. A key piece of advice is not to rush things – start by getting to know your step-children rather than trying to be a parent. Take an interest in them but bear in mind that love and trust are things that take time to develop. Christmas can be a time when issues within blended families come to the surface. If you’re experiencing any difficulties, we’d urge you to contact Relate at the earliest possible stage.”

National Head of Family Law from Simpson Millar, Peter Morris, also pointed out that as well as dealing with post Christmas family issues, summer holidays was another peak time for family crisis.

“This is not to say holidays cause divorce,” he says. “It just shows a correlation between divorce and the post-holiday seasons. Help is out there and all responsible family lawyers would encourage couples experiencing relationship breakdown to contact Relate whatever the season.”

For more information and advice visit: www.relate.org.uk