REVIEW: Love You Mum by Gillian Campbell

For mothers who slump on the sofa at the end of the nightly bedtime routine and feel that this is the day to start smoking, hit the gin or fall asleep to the 10pm repeat of Eastenders, Gillian Campbell has written a book just for them.

These parents know who they are. It’s actually every mother who can’t afford a live-in nanny. Far from the rose tinted vision of parenting we are sold by advertisers, albeit with lots of giggles around the dinner table when those oh so cute model babies have smeared Cow and Gate around their chops, parenting is actually a bloody hard slog.

Depression, a wardrobe of beige frumpiness, a gently simmering but permanent anger and a mistaken belief that other parents have it easier come in the invisible free gift pack you leave the hospital with. The one called the Reality Pack.

Instead of slinking into that 10pm haze every night, Gillian is urging mothers to take back control back of their lives and emotions with her new book Love You Mum.

Across the country, a new approach to parenting courses has been taking place. Gone seem to be the days of the naughty step and the Supernanny, with many having a suspiciously hefty dose of Neuro-linguistic programming stringing sessions together.

Parenting courses more commonly approach a more ‘positive parenting’ through self-development. This is the tact that Gillian’s book takes.

Whilst mainly taking a soft, chatty approach, Gillian also forces a mother to stop making the – I will do it tomorrow, or When I have more time excuses – by bluntly reminding us, tomorrow we could be dead. How would we like to be remembered? And what would our adult children say about us as a person and a parent at our funeral?

The book is to help us escape all that ‘mummy guilt’ we carry around.

It’s perfect for parents whose children have reached the age of around nine months. This is when the compromises start and life moves from maternity leave back to reality. Mothers often lose their own sense of identity as their lives revolve 24 hours around a very demanding tiny person. 

Gillian won’t tell you how to get your toddler to use the potty or control their tantrums. It won’t bore you with endless details about latching a baby onto a nipple or how to start weaning.

What it will do is to clear your head of baggage and help to cope without frustration again. This is a more essential set of tools that will help you deal with those darkest of days when the two-year-old wilfully paints the cat and then piddles in the corner.

Throughout the book there are exercises to re-evaluate your life, the way you deal with things and how this makes you feel.

Some quiet time alone, away from the distraction of Facebook, the TV and any lurking other half is necessary to work through it.

But for those mothers on the edge, the time is an investment, your own time-out as a parent to reflect on your behaviour.

Reading the book is like spending a couple of hours with a sensible and objective friend. One who knows the stresses and strains of parenthood, but can help guide you down the rocky road and help you to enjoy that late night glass of wine rather than needing it.

Gillian says: “The book is for Mums who perhaps end more days wishing they hadn’t snapped at their kids and their partners more than they had laughed and loved the challenges they faced. Those who dive into the escape of a glass of wine, an internet site or a reality TV show at the end of each day, rather than spending time with their partner or putting steps in place.”

For more information about Gillian and her book, visit: www.theonlymum.com

Love You Mum is published by Barnes Holland

£12.95

Available from bookshops and Amazon through Gillian’s website www.theonlymum.com