How to explain disability to your young child

Many parents have been there. In a busy shop, a long bus queue or a crowded train when their child spots somebody with an obvious disability. Their young curiosity is usually bellowed loudly for the benefit of everyone in the local area to hear – all of whom are now listening in to see how you are going to deal with it.

We asked author of You and Your Disabled Child, Margaret Barrett, to offer parents some advice on how to introduce their children to disability.

To a four year old, a person with disabilities can appear anything from funny to frightening and they aren’t shy of making these comments in front of the actual person which can be mortifying for parents.

With regard to the advice you asked for the first thing I would like to say  is that most parents of children with disabilities would not be mortified by  the comments of a 4 year old, and in fact the reverse is often true – they  welcome other children’s interest and the opportunity to answer questions.

What is more embarrassing and hurtful is when curious children are dragged  away or told not to look – and in truth it’s usually not the children who cause the embarrassment it’s how the adults deal with it. I personally think that the whole subject of disability should be introduced to children as part of their curriculum at a very early age while they are still totally accepting.
 
So how can parents explain disability to their child?

I think the best way to explain disability is that not everyone is as lucky as they are and that some children’s arms and legs, or eyes, or ears etc don’t work properly which makes it harder for them to do things so they need a bit more help. Stress that although they can’t always walk or talk and join in they still like the same things, and their Mummies and Daddies love them just as much.

You can help them to understand a bit more by acting out little scenarios where they temporarily “lose” an ability – moving around the house blindfold, communicating without speech, getting from A to B without walking, playing with toys without using one hand etc – pointing out what it must be like if they had to do it all the time. Answer any questions as honestly as you can and try to counteract any negatives with a positive – even if it’s only “she can’t talk but hasn’t she got a lovely smile”.
 
What parents of disabled children want more than anything is for their child to be accepted, included and valued for who they are and the only way this will happen long term is if we encourage children without disabilities to be interested, accepting and respectful.

To read our review of Margaret’s book visit: http://chopsybaby.com/magazine/?p=13036