Ten ‘real’ difficulties of parenting

OK. So why does it not say in the Bounty Book or any other parenting magazine or manual about some of the real difficulties of parenting.

1. Welly boots. Trip hazard.

2. Five-year-old boys will blunder through the home like a mix between Frank Spencer and Norman Wisdom.

3. You really need to give your bank details to the school at the beginning of term and let them help themselves to as much dinner money, charity donations, school trips and cake sales as they please. It makes life easier.

4. You will spend all your time talking to children who are not listening and not caring.

5. Stop doesn’t mean stop any more.

6. You get fed up of saying: Mind the dog poo, mind the dog poo, mind the dog poo, mind the sick, mind the cyclist, mind the car, mind the syringe, mind the dog poo, mind the car, just walking along the pavement.

7. People dog you up when your child has a tired and emotional moment. Of course, you alone are responsible for the entire downfall of society’s moral fabric.

8. About three hours a week is spent on the phone to utilties companies, mobile phone companies, Tax Credit helpline and so on, trying to rectify their mistakes. 0845 number and Vivaldi anybody?

9. As fast as you put mess away, it is coming back out again behind you at double speed.

10. Lego hurts when you stand on it. Fact.