Top Ten Irritations At The Theatre – Things you must never do!

Top ten irritating things that people do in theatres and should be strung up for:

By Chopsy Baby
1. Be late. There is no need. You are irritating the hell out of other people by having to be seated.

2. Be late back after the interval. There is no need. The second half is not a surprise now is it?

3. Buy a big back of rustling sweets. Why have you brought with you sweets that need to be opened individually and cause noise and nuisance?

4. Leave your mobile phone on. Of course you are going to get a text and a phone call during the performance. Thanks a bunch.

5. Talk. Just don’t.

6. Use flash photography. The theatre have told you not to and it is just irritating to everyone else when you ruin big moments.

7. Sniff and snort like a pig. Bring tissue and blow your nose. Nobody else wants to hear the noise of your mucus and phlegm.

8. Spread your coat, bags and jumpers across all the best seats in theatres with unreserved seating for friends who turn up 30 seconds before the start of a performance. We all look at you and mentally label you selfish.

9. Don’t moan at the prices in theatres for drinks, loud sweets or programmes. We all know there is a mark up. Bring your own items if you must.

10. Bar staff are not servants. If the ice box is next to you, don’t hold up the queue asking them to put ice in your drinks. Lift your own lazy elbow. Oh and don’t try to buy one ice cream with a fifty pound note. Come on, use your brain. Front of house staff are not bank counters.