Why Should Mobile Phones Not Be Used During a Theatre Performance?
Imagine back, even as far as the 90s, to a theatre show not marred by mobile phone use. A blessed time when the glaring back light of an iPhone didn’t illuminate the entire Stalls. There was no texting. There was somewhat less camera photography. The worst thing that would happen would be a three year old in the middle of the row needing a wee during a matinee, or a pensioner leaving during the applause to catch the bus home. Yes, there was the minor annoyance of chocolate wrappers or popcorn crunching. The Tall Man blocking the view. The Late Comers. The Talkers. But there was nobody sat in row M directly in front of you idling flicking through Facebook.
Because yes, this does happen. Facebook or Twitter can regularly be spotted out during theatre performances. Checking text messages. Checking. Text Messages. Let’s repeat that one last time for fun. Checking text messages.
There is not one single good enough reason to be checking text messages, sending text messages, flicking through Facebook photos, posting to Twitter or even having the audacity to even be holding a mobile phone during a theatre performances. It is beyond rude, beyond irritating. It’s actually selfish. In fact, perhaps we should have paint gun snipers sat in the Upper Circle ready to shoot people using mobile phones during performances. I would volunteer to do so for free.
There are simple rules for visiting the theatre:
No talking
No excessive fidgeting
Don’t be late
Don’t rustle wrappers
Do not sing along we don’t want to hear you
Eat a bag of crisps at your peril
Tend to coughs immediately
Don’t crack open the sushi or pizza during the overture
Don’t do opera or ballet if you cannot be silent
Don’t sit in an aisle seat if you aren’t going to let people from the middle out during the interval
Do not be a fool and balance a bottle of Coke on the Grand Circle balcony ledge to fall on the person’s head below
Tap feet only if you want them nailed to the floor – you are shaking the entire row of seats and now we’re feeling murderous
If you think you are going to vomit over the back of Row C in the middle section of the hot upper circle, go home
Clapping along to songs is painful – There’s a whole Mumsnet AIBU thread devoted to The Rage it induces
Don’t clap if you aren’t sure you should clap because you look stupid – Yes it’s true, you do get smugly judged
Do not take photographs
Do not use mobile phones
Don’t be rude to front of house staff it’s not classy
Disclaimer – this list does not apply to people with disabilities