Dating tips for single parents
When a single parent finally feels ready to start dating again, it can be difficult finding someone who not only ticks their own boxes, but will also be comfortable playing second fiddle to their children.
Often because of this, single parents will find love with other single parents who are well aware of the logistical difficulties and the commitments raising children entails.
“Dating when you have children can be difficult, but don’t let this stop you! Having clear boundaries and being confident enough to express them will make it easier for you to find a respectful partner,” says Dr Gian Gonzaga, the Senior Relationship Scientist at eHarmony.co.uk
Dr Gonzaga and eHarmony.co.uk has come up with some advice that single parents should take note of when it comes to going back on the market:
1. Be honest from the beginning
It isn’t always easy to bring up the fact that you have children when considering going out with someone new. But your date deserves to know what to expect —perhaps that you’ll only be available every other weekend because of custody arrangements or that you can never be out past midnight due to your babysitter. Be upfront and you’ll avoid any surprises later on.
2. Only date someone who is sensitive to your situation
A potential partner who respects the fact that you’re a parent should understand and be sensitive to the responsibilities that you have to your children. Do they understand that you need to arrange childcare? Do they realize that even on a date you need to be accessible to your children? Does he or she understand that only you will know the right time to introduce them to your children? If the answer is no to any of these questions, they are probably not the right partner for you in the long-term.
3. Go slow
Unless you and your date are both certain you want to take the relationship in a more serious direction, don’t rush to introduce him or her to your kids. Having a new adult in their lives is a big deal. They will be confused by too many new faces. When you feel the time is right, keep the meeting low-key and brief, and do all you can to remove pressure from everyone. Your kids need as much time as you did to get to know someone new.
4. Be realistic
After introductions, be careful not to expect too much from your new relationship too soon. Someone who has never had kids will need plenty of time to develop their own relationship with your children. Equally if your partner has children or their own, it will take time for both sets of children to get used to being a part of a single family.
5. Practice being more than a parent
Yes, you are responsible for your children, and you must take that seriously. But being a parent is not solely all you are. You’re a single person looking for someone to share your life with. Get a babysitter, relax, and enjoy dating!
Chopsy Baby also has five tips for single parents ready to look for love again.
1.Don’t ever rush your children into meeting your new partner. Make sure the relationship is going well first. Avoid confusing children with frequent new dates.
2.Never force a child to call a new partner mum or dad. If appropriate, they will do so when they are comfortable and ready to do it.
3. Be aware that boys from any age can be particularly territorial and fight for the alpha male role in the house. Make sure that they know you love them and that will not change.
4.Caution is always advisable when getting to know your new partner. Too many child murders these days are involving step parents and it can be handy to be aware of the Child Sex Offender Disclosure scheme which is running in certain areas in the UK.
5. Don’t all move in together and play happy families too quickly. Children need stability, love and consistency in their lives above all other things. This comes before the love life.