Parents are not warned about the class mascot

We have been asked not to reveal the identity of this South Bristol class mascot, who found the evening drove him to drink

 

In not one parenting publication that we have encountered does it read …

And you will spend Thursday evening trying to get the photograph of Snotty the Snail, the reception class mascot off of your phone and on to the computer.

As you are waiting for the photos to transfer for the millionth time, you thumb through the accompanying book to find Snotty has been to tea with the Queen, lunch with the PM, soft play half a dozen times and transferred several colds from one family to the next.

Then when the photographs you have taken of Snotty watching something vaguely unsuitable on the television have loaded, you then Photoshop out the Fruit Shoot bottle on the table and commence battle with the printer.

When you have returned from a large computer peripheral retailer open late in the evening to replace the empty ink cartridges, you finally get the bloody photographs printed – and stick them into the book with chewing gum as the glue has either been sniffed clean away or run out.

You end up writing some tattle in the book at 2am on the Friday morning before the entire circus is returned to the school.

‘… Snotty had a really fantastic time at LaLa’s house whilst Mummy was reduced to drinking Gin and taking up smoking with the stress of recording the event …’

But your child is so pleased and proud to have Snotty the Snail, it almost makes it all worth it.