Rules for using pavements

Key Points to Remember:

1. Making sure your dog does a huge poo on the pavement and then tramp it over the next 50 yards of the street.

2. Spit on the pavement so we can all see your bodily fluid glinting in the winter sun.

3. Walk really slowly but keep meandering from side to side so no one can get by. 3. Walk really slowly but keep meandering from side to side so no one can get by.

4. Bump into a neighbour you haven’t seen for twenty minutes and block the entire pavement by chatting about crap for half an hour.

5. Finding the next clean space of pavement and encouraging your dog to cover it in poo again.