Trying to get around Central Bristol during the morning rush is a nightmare. And we don’t even go by car. There’s certainly plenty of pavement rage going around and this is a visual guide explaining what causes frayed tempers.
Pavement Spreaders. This is a group of people casually wandering along a pavement. They are selfishly oblivious to the fact that nobody can pass them in either direction because they have spread themselves across the entire width of the pavement.
Mobile Phone Slalom. This usually occurs with a large oncoming group of people. Each individual has their phone either in front of their face or by their rib cage. They come at full steam towards you but cannot be bothered to look where they are going. Large groups of these people are a dangerous irritant.
The weaver. You usually get stuck behind a Weaver. You need to pass, but which ever side you try to go the Weaver will weave in that direction. Then the other.
Seagulls in Central Bristol and its periphery are a nightmare. Just when you least expect it, a ton of poo literally drops from the sky on top of you.
Pavement Parkers need no explanation. They are the cars, lorries and vans who think they have the right to park on pavements and stop anyone from being able to get by.
Pedestrians are moving along the pavement in unison when suddenly, somebody stops and sends Park Row into a series of bumps and emergency stops.
Yes its lovely when you bump into people you know when on busy crowded pavements. But really, step to the side and have your extended reunion whilst allowing people the ability to carry on walking.
You happen upon these people. Dithering over nothing and usually blocking pavements with bags. Megabus stop on Bond Street is the worst for this.
Thanks to all the minging spitters and vomitters for making Central Bristols pavements almost impossible to walk along.
You have a dog, it poos, pick it up. Not difficult. If too lazy, don’t have a dog.
Oh the pavement furniture. It’s a Knock Out trying to get through these obstacles with buggies and wheelchairs sometimes.
These are the most curious people. It doesn’t matter where you are walking, these oncoming nightmares are coming down the hill like an out of control steam train. They expect you to move for them despite having several clear paths of avoidance. Just rude and nasty.
Cyclists on the pavement. It’s a sport in Bristol. How fast can you cycle? This fast. How many pedestrians have you hit? Who cares.
