Umbrella Etiquette

Key Points To Remember:

Make sure that at least two parts of the umbrella fabric do not connect exposing the metal. It’s easier to take someone’s eye out this way.

It’s great to dry your wet umbrella by placing it on the bus seat. This is both convenient for you and the next person who needs to get their clothes soaked.

If you are unable to do this, make sure you drip dry your umbrella across the floor tiles of your nearest shop. Don’t forget – where there’s a blame there’s a claim.  It could even be yours.

The bigger the better. Golfing umbrellas or fishing umbrellas are always best used by tiny people or as a bayonet through a busy street.

Thrift is good. Those pound shop umbrellas are a brilliant investment. You can even leave them cluttering the pavement like turkey road kill when they blow inside out.

And finally, don’t forget to leave them lying around. Lost property boxes just wouldn’t be the same without being half filled with dusty abandoned umbrellas.