Eight things to really not do during a theatre performance if you want to get out alive

Eight things to really not do during a theatre peformance if you want to get out alive

1. Sit in the wrong seats.

2. Or sit in the wrong seats and move ten minutes into the start of the performance which involves noise, standing and muttering. There’s a number and a letter on your ticket. This corresponds to a seat in the auditorium. Find it.

3. Talk. Constantly.

4. Use your phone. Do you not realise that using your mobile in a darkened theatre lights up the ceiling above your head and bathes audience members in a blue haze.

5. Leave your text alert on if your have the audacity to continue texting during a performance.

6. Bang in and out of the auditorium door constantly.

7. Move around, consult with your entitled family, cause low to high level disruption and generally piss us all off.

8. Ever dare to come back if you do step one – seven.